I swear Jesus gets whiter in every depiction. At this point, the unicorn is more believable
Well duh! Because this is American Capitalist Jesus!
UZI JESUS
DON’T GASLIGHT ME, JESUS!
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, CARL!
“I am the way, motherfucker.”
The Mormons would’ve had a lot more buy in if this were their new holy book.
Jesus is back and this time he’s pissed!
Buttstallion?!?
Not to sound too much like the end of Star Trek 5, but why does laser eye Jesus need guns?
Are you asking why does a man with one weapons system need another weapon system? Are you serious? Dude, it’s more weapon system! 2 weapon system > 1 weapon system you fucking noob!
See, that’s why he’s the king of the Jews and you’re just some joe shmoe nobody.
Fredum
Volume 1: HAIL TO THE KING OF THE JEWS, BABY!
Uzi Jesus got some upgrades.
Is this Bible written by Pete Hegseth?
Isn’t the book of Mormon or whatever actually just “Bible: 2”?
Kinda, yeah. It’s more like the “Newest New Testament” in practice. Which also means that the New Testament is more like “Torah 2: Back for Revenge!”
Though they call it The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ."
As if it’s just a remix or a cover.
I think Jewish people divide the Tanakh into the Torah, the Nevi’im, and the Ketuvim, so the New Testament would have to be at least Torah 4: Prophet & Saviour. Or, more likely, a spin-off story set in the same extended universe: The Tanakh Presents: Jesus & Paul.
It’s like how Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast was the sequel to Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight.
“Wow so the Bible is actually a trilogy? And the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi? I’m interested.”
Pilate said unto Jesus “surely you must be Jew-king”
I remember reading the Norwegian satirist Are Kalvøs sequel of the Bible, and finding it very enjoyable.
I doubt this version can top a burnt out Christ hounded by PR consultants and everyone else wanting in on the action, while he himself only wants to play in a band singing songs about the trustworthiness of Pharisees.
Electric Boogaloo
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