The kind of biblical story which should never have been illustrated.
I thought this was a joke, but here it is. This is actually from the bible.
King was probably like “Holy shit he actually did it. I’d better give him my daughter before he cuts my dick off”.
In all seriousness, there is some fucked shit in the Bible.
Here’s another fun one, from
Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible - Vol. 2: Don’t blame us - it’s in the Bible!
Religion of peace lol
It seems relevant to point out that the “Philistines” were Palestinians
In terms of region and name, sure, but probably not in terms of distinct ethnicity and culture. Philistia was most likely a mix of Greek immigrants and Canaanites, but they got totally absorbed by the Babylonian empire – there’s no direct cultural inheritance.
Fair point, but I think it’s a relevant historical mirror. Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly, in the context of genociding the current day ones.
Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly
I didn’t know this! I feel my context makes that even more absurd; even if a historical feud justified their actions in the slightest, which it obviously doesn’t, it’s not even the same cultural or ethnic group.
If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.
The Philistines on the battlefield watch as David goes about his work with great enthusiasm.
100 extra foreskins? That’s quite the tip!
The same David that later sent a man to die in battle so he could steal his wife?
It’s cool. He was really sorry for it after he was called out.
And God punished David by…
Checks bible
Having his 10 wives raped. Hmm. Really showed him.
Don’t forget also having the illicit child die in agony over the course of seven days.
Well obviously that doesn’t count because God sent him to heaven or whatever. Killing babies is actually good when God does it, which is often.
This always gets me. Christians get on their knees and worship this guy who might rape their wife if they disappoint him
The Old Testament is a treasure trove of such things
Times were WILD
What a lovely children’s story.
There are limits to what people will do to help their friends get laid. We haven’t found them yet, though…
Rationalism it was: instead of bothering with heads they proved the number with foreskins. Much lighter and safer to store for longer time.
I think the reasoning is that since Jews lacked foreskins but their neighbors the philistines had them, bringing the foreskins showed that it was not Jews you went out to kill. It’s like if you wanted someone to kill 100 rattler snakes and as proof you bring 100 rattlers as that’s their distinctive body part.
So we actually have found some logic in Bible? Unexpected…
I mean, the “logic” that led to the Israelites not having foreskin to begin with isn’t exactly rock solid.
yeah but how else are you going to give hepatitis to a baby?
suck its dick?
The Catholics way?
(Some) Jews do that as part of the circumcision ceremony—Metzitzah B’Peh.
