For a bunch of nerds who claim to have been picked on a lot in high school, we sure do push people away quite a bit.
You’d like to think the pain of being excluded would lead to people be more accepting, but it usually just pushes them to form their own groups so that they can exclude others too.
That’s been my experience. The other day we had a post that made fun of “sportsball” and very few seemed to get the irony of it. Sure I made that joke for a while when I was younger, then I realized that by doing it I was doing the same thing to those who like sports that they did to me in high school with video games.
It’s not some equalizing or justice, it’s lowering yourself to their level. What’s worse is that at least most of them did it in high school when that stuff mattered. It’s sad doing it now as adults when it takes nothing to just be accepting of everyone’s interests.
It’s a hard and unintuitive lesson to learn. I used to mock and deride things I disagree with or dislike, but I try to do that less now. I believe it’s better and more interesting to be open and accepting of new things, even if they seem silly or wrong.
It feels like an easy win to define yourself by what you’re “against”, but I think that’s just the tribalism part of my brain talking. It just closes you off to people and calcifies your worldview
That’s the mature take. Define yourself not by what you are against but what you are for, and be open and welcoming as people express what they enjoy as well.
You’d like to think the pain of being excluded would lead to people be more accepting, but it usually just pushes them to form their own groups so that they can exclude others too.
Pedagogy of the Oppressed and all that.
That’s been my experience. The other day we had a post that made fun of “sportsball” and very few seemed to get the irony of it. Sure I made that joke for a while when I was younger, then I realized that by doing it I was doing the same thing to those who like sports that they did to me in high school with video games.
It’s not some equalizing or justice, it’s lowering yourself to their level. What’s worse is that at least most of them did it in high school when that stuff mattered. It’s sad doing it now as adults when it takes nothing to just be accepting of everyone’s interests.
It’s a hard and unintuitive lesson to learn. I used to mock and deride things I disagree with or dislike, but I try to do that less now. I believe it’s better and more interesting to be open and accepting of new things, even if they seem silly or wrong.
It feels like an easy win to define yourself by what you’re “against”, but I think that’s just the tribalism part of my brain talking. It just closes you off to people and calcifies your worldview
That’s the mature take. Define yourself not by what you are against but what you are for, and be open and welcoming as people express what they enjoy as well.