Right? When my extended family gets together there are like 40 of us. I might try to avoid the ones that are MAGA, or at least avoid talking politics with them, but I’m not gonna refuse to go to Christmas or Thanksgiving just because my chuddy uncle is going to be there. I’ll just take a walk with the other queer cousins and get a little toasted before dinner
Do you do the same thing with the ones that are child molesters? What you’re describing is identical to why most child molesters are family members and the molestation is actually known about.
What you describe about making nice with them even though they are arguably awful people is absolutely no different. Fucking hold them accountable. Tell them get their racist fucking asses out of your home. Tell them to fuck off and die mad. Quit enabling them. Your “logic” is exactly why most child molesters are family members and family friends.
Look, I’m no fan of conservatives, but you have to recognize that someone molesting children is very very different from someone holding conservative politics.
Do you really expect me to go through life shouting at and refusing to speak with anyone with politics to the right of mine? Life is full of compromises and picking your battles. I would absolutely refuse to be in the same room with a pedophile relative, because that’s a big deal worth fighting over. My aunt who thinks ivermectin works? Not worth the trouble.
Most people, even repeat Trump voters, are pretty tuned out of politics. So I don’t feel like it’s my solemn duty to grill everyone over their voting patterns, assume their vote defines them as a person, and only associate with the purest of heart.
but you have to recognize that someone molesting children is very very different from someone holding conservative politics.
I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about you needing to hold them accountable. In that, there is zero difference.
Do you really expect me to go through life shouting at and refusing to speak with anyone with politics to the right of mine?
I expect you to hold people accountable; especially family members. That actually starts with speaking with them and not avoiding the politics because that makes you both feel uncomfortable. However, when they decide that they are racist then, yeah, tell them to grow up or fuck off and die. Quit enabling them.
Most people, even repeat Trump voters, are pretty tuned out of politics.
Then tune them the fuck in. Quit letting the skate by playing nice with them at holiday dinners. Fuck holiday dinners; holding them accountable is far more important.
I admire your passion, but I disagree that it’s my responsibility to hold others accountable for their politics just because we’re related and going to the same dinner. I’m responsible for my own beliefs, and if I want to spend time trying to win people over to my side, that’s well and good. But there’s a time and a place for that, and I don’t think holiday meals are it. Purely from a strategic standpoint, I don’t think confronting someone over Thanksgiving dinner is going to win them, or anyone else in the room, to my side.
Well now that you mention it there was that one great Uncle. Never knew the full details, but yeah kinda the same deal. Just came with the extended family.
You guys seem to be discussing, while having very strong opinions. I’m going to remove the comments about the trolling. Don’t go after the users, go after the argument.
My MAGA relatives are some of the worst human beings I’ve met. Hateful, loud, dumb bigots that seem unable to act like a decent human being for more than a few minutes at a time. I’ve heard the shit they’ve let slip out and they meant (and mean) every word.
They’re not welcome in my home and I am sure as shit am not wasting my time on them.
Our families invite process is fairly simple. If you can’t last family time during holiday without talking politics, you aren’t invited. I think that’s a fairly healthy ask. I think only one person was excluded from family planning/gathering due to it, but thankfully the feeling was mutual because they couldn’t isolate their political side from their actual personality and as such didn’t want to be in an environment where they couldn’t talk politics anyway.
Ah… “don’t ask; don’t tell”. Everything is fine even if Uncle Steve is diddling your daughter (or son) while everyone else is watching football after the family feast.
Different scenario so therefore different rules. It may surprise some people on Lemmy but, not everyone that has a different political orientation is molesting children or some other extremity. Shocker I know.
There’s a time and a place for politics for either side. Family time isn’t one. We don’t want to be associated with people who can’t respect that. Regardless of political orientation.
Did I say slightly right or are you moving the goal posts? Yeah, you’re moving the goal posts. Be accountable. Hold others accountable - especially family.
you initiated the reply with a goalpost move what did you expect it to be ignored? Either way I think you are trolling me so I’m disengaging.
For context on their claim(which I had edited prior to their comment as it didn’t really matter to the post): My original reply stated that just because someone is slightly right doesn’t mean they molest kids. It had no place in the comment as it doesn’t matter the reason: Politics have zero place at family time.
I did no such thing. I said hold your fucking family accountable. Not doing so just because it “ruins thanksgiving dinner” is a piss-poor excuse. It’s this playing nice with family members that allows them to continue comfortably being racists and/or pedophiles. Quit enabling them.
Politics have zero place at family time.
This is the most important time. When the fuck else are you going to do it? Jesus fucking christ, hold your family accountable for not being awful people. If you fail to do that then you, too, are an awful person. Maybe you didn’t know that before, but now you do and you have no further excuse.
After Election Day 2024 I completely cut my republican father out of my life. He never was maga, but he was celebrating trimp’s win (ironically by listening to a Woodie Guthrie cd I got him). I did not speak to him for almost a year and a half, then in April I found out he was going to group therapy. I am unsure of the exact nature of the GT but one of his friend’s that is in the GT said it is to redeem them.
We still do not have the close relationship that we used to have, and I doubt we ever will again.
The crazy thing is he used to be a long haired hippie fighting for freedoms and protecting the Vietnam war.
That’s the weird thing. There’s millions of people who would never hurt anybody up close and personal, but happy to keep hurting people far away by their choices. The same disconnect often applies to the negative consequences that hit them.
In those cases, if they’re family, and you’re used to seeing them, you can find yourself having superficially friendly interactions, they will be genuinely happy to see you, etc… And they will vote for death camps without a single pang of conscience because it seems like the normal thing they’ve always done.
I don’t think they’re the majority, but they’re certainly numerous enough to be the primary enablers of a fascist takeover.
Who the fuck still does holidays with their MAGA relatives?
The many people that can’t afford living out of their parents’ basement
Can’t afford moving out of it?
Yeah, outside of their parents’ basement
To “live out of” can mean to live in, that’s what confused them
That is a much more difficult situation…
Most healthy members of society dude 😭
Right? When my extended family gets together there are like 40 of us. I might try to avoid the ones that are MAGA, or at least avoid talking politics with them, but I’m not gonna refuse to go to Christmas or Thanksgiving just because my chuddy uncle is going to be there. I’ll just take a walk with the other queer cousins and get a little toasted before dinner
Aww the cousin walk <3
Must be nice for only some of them to be MAGA.
When they’re all MAGA, though, sometimes it’s best to just not go.
My family extended to just 1st cousins is more than 80 people. Every single last one full maga Christo-fascists. Not worth being around.
Do you do the same thing with the ones that are child molesters? What you’re describing is identical to why most child molesters are family members and the molestation is actually known about.
Of course not? What kind of question is that? Being a child molester and being a conservative are two wildly different things
Correct, one molests children and the other protects child molestors. Only sometimes are they one and the same.
Edit: Imagine downvoting this, you people are excrutiatingly forgiving of the people who would just as easily see you in chains.
What you describe about making nice with them even though they are arguably awful people is absolutely no different. Fucking hold them accountable. Tell them get their racist fucking asses out of your home. Tell them to fuck off and die mad. Quit enabling them. Your “logic” is exactly why most child molesters are family members and family friends.
Look, I’m no fan of conservatives, but you have to recognize that someone molesting children is very very different from someone holding conservative politics.
Do you really expect me to go through life shouting at and refusing to speak with anyone with politics to the right of mine? Life is full of compromises and picking your battles. I would absolutely refuse to be in the same room with a pedophile relative, because that’s a big deal worth fighting over. My aunt who thinks ivermectin works? Not worth the trouble.
Most people, even repeat Trump voters, are pretty tuned out of politics. So I don’t feel like it’s my solemn duty to grill everyone over their voting patterns, assume their vote defines them as a person, and only associate with the purest of heart.
I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about you needing to hold them accountable. In that, there is zero difference.
I expect you to hold people accountable; especially family members. That actually starts with speaking with them and not avoiding the politics because that makes you both feel uncomfortable. However, when they decide that they are racist then, yeah, tell them to grow up or fuck off and die. Quit enabling them.
Then tune them the fuck in. Quit letting the skate by playing nice with them at holiday dinners. Fuck holiday dinners; holding them accountable is far more important.
I admire your passion, but I disagree that it’s my responsibility to hold others accountable for their politics just because we’re related and going to the same dinner. I’m responsible for my own beliefs, and if I want to spend time trying to win people over to my side, that’s well and good. But there’s a time and a place for that, and I don’t think holiday meals are it. Purely from a strategic standpoint, I don’t think confronting someone over Thanksgiving dinner is going to win them, or anyone else in the room, to my side.
Well now that you mention it there was that one great Uncle. Never knew the full details, but yeah kinda the same deal. Just came with the extended family.
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You guys seem to be discussing, while having very strong opinions. I’m going to remove the comments about the trolling. Don’t go after the users, go after the argument.
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Removed by mod
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Stop calling them a troll, this is a warning before a day break. Go after the argument, not the user. They’re discussing further in.
Yeah, super healthy to go hang out with people who want people like you bashished from society because of who you want to love 🙄
Not conservative, not “republican”: MAGA.
My MAGA relatives are some of the worst human beings I’ve met. Hateful, loud, dumb bigots that seem unable to act like a decent human being for more than a few minutes at a time. I’ve heard the shit they’ve let slip out and they meant (and mean) every word.
They’re not welcome in my home and I am sure as shit am not wasting my time on them.
How “healthy” it is to attend holiday gatherings with your family depends entirely on your family’s chud ratio.
Our families invite process is fairly simple. If you can’t last family time during holiday without talking politics, you aren’t invited. I think that’s a fairly healthy ask. I think only one person was excluded from family planning/gathering due to it, but thankfully the feeling was mutual because they couldn’t isolate their political side from their actual personality and as such didn’t want to be in an environment where they couldn’t talk politics anyway.
Ah… “don’t ask; don’t tell”. Everything is fine even if Uncle Steve is diddling your daughter (or son) while everyone else is watching football after the family feast.
Different scenario so therefore different rules. It may surprise some people on Lemmy but, not everyone that has a different political orientation is molesting children or some other extremity. Shocker I know.
There’s a time and a place for politics for either side. Family time isn’t one. We don’t want to be associated with people who can’t respect that. Regardless of political orientation.
Did I say slightly right or are you moving the goal posts? Yeah, you’re moving the goal posts. Be accountable. Hold others accountable - especially family.
Chill, you’re getting aggressive. I see you discussing in other areas, but please chill.
Acknowledged and apologies…
you initiated the reply with a goalpost move what did you expect it to be ignored? Either way I think you are trolling me so I’m disengaging.
For context on their claim(which I had edited prior to their comment as it didn’t really matter to the post): My original reply stated that just because someone is slightly right doesn’t mean they molest kids. It had no place in the comment as it doesn’t matter the reason: Politics have zero place at family time.
I did no such thing. I said hold your fucking family accountable. Not doing so just because it “ruins thanksgiving dinner” is a piss-poor excuse. It’s this playing nice with family members that allows them to continue comfortably being racists and/or pedophiles. Quit enabling them.
This is the most important time. When the fuck else are you going to do it? Jesus fucking christ, hold your family accountable for not being awful people. If you fail to do that then you, too, are an awful person. Maybe you didn’t know that before, but now you do and you have no further excuse.
That’s not healthy. That’s enabling.
That’s not x that’s y 😭
After Election Day 2024 I completely cut my republican father out of my life. He never was maga, but he was celebrating trimp’s win (ironically by listening to a Woodie Guthrie cd I got him). I did not speak to him for almost a year and a half, then in April I found out he was going to group therapy. I am unsure of the exact nature of the GT but one of his friend’s that is in the GT said it is to redeem them.
We still do not have the close relationship that we used to have, and I doubt we ever will again.
The crazy thing is he used to be a long haired hippie fighting for freedoms and protecting the Vietnam war.
It sucks when that has to happen, but good on you.
That’s the weird thing. There’s millions of people who would never hurt anybody up close and personal, but happy to keep hurting people far away by their choices. The same disconnect often applies to the negative consequences that hit them.
In those cases, if they’re family, and you’re used to seeing them, you can find yourself having superficially friendly interactions, they will be genuinely happy to see you, etc… And they will vote for death camps without a single pang of conscience because it seems like the normal thing they’ve always done.
I don’t think they’re the majority, but they’re certainly numerous enough to be the primary enablers of a fascist takeover.
Yep… and the only way we de-normalize it is to quit passively allowing it.
I get dragged with. Really debating putting my foot down on the Mega church visit this Christmas though. Such a vile place.
I want to see my sister and my niece. Other family shows up too, kinda hard to control that
a small edible (or giant bongrip) beforehand should do the trick