Problem: fidget spinner covered in cum, won’t spin anymore

Solution: no jackin’ it while do the spinny

Corporate solution: increase price of ADHD meds by 500%

Hello Mr elephant

My neighbor’s daughter bought an induction stove for her best friend who happens to be a trans dwarf porn star. She goes by Munchkin Cock Jenny and let me tell you she can cook a hell of a good meal on that thing. She hosted us all for Thanksgiving breakfast last year and made Vienna sausages with coconut rice and strawberry rhubarb pie, all mixed together on the stovetop. None of it got hot because she just placed it all on the surface but at least she tried. She died of meningitis about 4 hours after we left which is unfortunate because whoever had to deal with her estate had to clean the stovetop.

My queer dicked uncle was just telling me about this the other day when my phone rang and some guy claiming to be from “your local aviation company” called me airplane cock and hung up right away. I still don’t know what it means but one things for sure, my cocks small enough to fit in a 20byte file.

My coworker once asked to me take out a loan so she could buy some kind of trinket, I told her no and gave her my old PS2 instead. Ever since then she gives me a real good Nantucket Narb Snarfie before bed every night. I’ve never ejaculated so much in my life. It’s a shame she passed away 54 years ago.

Instructions unclear, now I have waspinator living in my basement hanging out with all the other beasties making a mess of the place. One of his pals joined the Catholic Church and just had his first cum union (you know that fun ritual where the whole congregation dresses up as Jesus and jacks off all over you).

Man I miss going to church.