I mean this is easy - start intentionally going to places where “looking good” isn’t the organizing principle.

Find a hobby - hiking, gardening, books, pets. Hang out with people who value and are interested in things you value and are interested in. If you have something interesting to say and someone is interested- suddenly you have a much more interesting connection than “he thinks I’m hot”.

It seems great to have people treat you well because you are pretty - but in reality it means they don’t give two shits about who you are or what you think and will be dishonest with you to try to get in your pants.

Most pretty women really suffer when they get older and lose that “free pass” because the only social skill they ever learned was “look good”. If you learn to really listen and care about others, to be a good friend, to make people laugh - learn how to be an appealing person in a way that has nothing to do with looks. It will give you a much much more satisfying life for much much longer.

There are a number of high profile candidates who very clearly articulated “not right vs left - top vs bottom” at every turn. Class awareness is growing. Not sure if it is widespread enough to have a big impact yet, but it is becoming part of the conversation.

And let’s be clear here - “Christian Nationalism” is not Christian at all. I’m not Christian but far as I can tell Jesus himself was a “love each other” guy not a “political power” guy. I’m all for rebelling against the church but Jesus the guy had some great teachings and was in no way seeking political power. I don’t have beef with him.

So I am a girl. I feel like it’s not controversial to say the obvious = on average men are taller and stronger than women.

This does not mean you can assume the height of someone knowing their gender. It does not mean that tall women are less female / somehow masculine, or that short men are less male / more feminine.

It bothers me that we are fine with “on average men are taller/stronger”, but we can’t even bring up the subject of “are there intellectual differences” without upsetting people.

I say this as a woman whose brain is good at some things that men are more often drawn to. My experience is that of course there are women who are drawn to / excel at data structures and programming… I am one of them. But on average men are more likely to be good at that sort of work. I know some of that is because of cultural norms / social pressure, but “some”, not “all”.

I’m female so I can say this without getting hauled into HR for diversity training, but there are men who are called sexist for even brining it up.

I don’t think it’s sexist to acknowledge that testosterone and estrogen have different effects on a developing human brain.

I DO think it’s sexist that we pay top dollar for engineering expertise and next to nothing to people who teach and care for children - which in my mind is both more difficult to do well and FAR more important.

I know sex is a different topic than race, but… it feels culturally sensitive in a similar way I guess?

If you are tense and emotionally uncomfortable and/or the doctor is rough or rushed or just uncaring = it can be a bad experience.

Generally speaking the speculum is not comfortable but not painful. It is there so they can use a swab to get a sample from the woman’s cervix to check for abnormal/cancer cells. Some women don’t even feel the swab and others find it painful - most feel it but don’t find it particularly painful. If they do find problematic cells they cut a little bit off the cervix for testing.

I have always had nice doctors - when I was younger I felt a little weirded out - but never uncomfortable or in any pain. Until I had a cervical biopsy- which did hurt and left me cramping for a bit. But it hurt at around the level it hurts to get stuck with a needle when you give blood. Yes, it hurt - but not severe.

It’s just much much more scary to hurt in a sensitive area then it is to hurt on, say, your arm.