I’m curious at taking care of fish. I am a terribly irresponsible person, but I feel if I have a food self cleaning and self cleaning tank, I can take care pretty easily with enough alarms to remind me.
Which equipment, fish, and setup do I need for what I’m aiming to do?
Let me know in the comments!
Heysus Christos, big question! I’ll take a shot.
The larger the tank the easier. Counterintuitive, but consider balancing the chemicals in a 1G tank vs 50G. Ya got a little leeway in the 50G, tight specs in the 1G. Go as big as you can, less care needed.
Start with a thick substrate. I like pea gravel from Lowe’s. Big bag, stupid cheap, nice colors, rinse only what ya need, easy. You can buy aquarium gravel from the store, but gravel’s a buck a pound vs. $5 for 40#, looks natural too. Also, the aquarium gravel paint chips off over time, looks like crap. Whatever you do, go for a dull, natural, dark color. I went neon one time and my fish looked like swimming turds in contrast.
You want the substrate thick, 3" at least, preferably 5" if ya got a big tank. Bacteria post up in there and help balance the water. Poop works it way in, gets eaten, turns to nitrates (😁) instead of nitrites (☠️). More on bacteria and testing later. You need bacteria.
You need a pump that moves water. Circulating keeps the water exposed to the surface because gas exchange. Seen those bubble stones people use? Oxygen doesn’t come out the bubbles, it comes from the bubbles disrupting the surface. Mo surface area on top of the tank, mo mixing, mo better. Get a regular tank as a beginner, not a tall skinny one with little surface area on top.
That pump is also your filter. People fuck with it too much. Let it roll. Those helpful bacteria build up in the filter media. I like these filter stones. They have tiny holes to house the bacteria. Anyway, they sure don’t hurt, just don’t wash 'em!
Only other hardware is a siphon. (There’re other goodies, we’re sticking to essentials.) You’ll need that to change some water every month or three. If it’s a healthy tank ya only need pull 10% of the water, no more. Don’t go nuts on this even if the water is cloudy at first!
Another tip on water: Rainwater if you can collect it is best. Otherwise, it’s like house plant water: Fill a bucket or whatever with tap water and let it sit a day, preferably in the sun, to release the chemicals. No, this isn’t some anti-vaxxer cHemICaL rant, but they put shit in there to keep things like algae down. We don’t want that. Done this for 30-years, trust me on this part.
Got all the gear? Fill your tank will cold tap water, whatever decorations ya want, drop a few drops of bleach in there, fire up the pump, wait a month. (Please wait at least 2-weeks.) The helpful bacteria that break fish pee (nitrites) into mostly harmless nitrates will show up and get to work. Sometimes I’ll drop a Mystery Snail in right off. They’re tough enough and get the pee-to-nitrate cycle jump started, but I’ve still killed a couple going too fast. No go fast.
If you’re worried about the aforementioned nitrites/nitrates, get some cheapo test strips. They also measure ammonia (fish pee). Not really needed if you take your time with all this. Nice learning aid, but don’t freak out over results that are a bit off!
Buy all this crap off FB Marketplace or Craigslist or the thrift! You will get robbed at Pet Store™.
We’re not ready to talk animals yet, but this basic setup that doesn’t take much attention. Tanks are like swimming pools, gardens and house plants: Beginners feed 'em and fuck with 'em too much. Take your time and let it ride.
Questions? I got WAY more details, like a lid and lighting, but ya gotta start from the beginning. :)
Some good fuckin content
As someone who doesn’t know shit, this is indeed a lot of information to take in
DAMNIT! I forgot ONE other thing that will make you super happy. Get some black vinyl, the stuff they cut graphics out of, letters for signs, etc. Watch a couple of minutes of video on how to apply it to the outside back of the tank, stupid easy, needs a spot of soapy water, a stiff card and a razor blade. Backing your tank with black makes everything in it POP. Don’t get cute and try another color. I said BLACK and I meant it. Anything else will only detract from your badass display. Go black, never go back.
I have no terrariums or tanks without it, and I will never do without again. As a bonus, it keeps light out the back keeping algae growth down. Ya gotta do this for me OP!
Reading this over, I made it sound like fish are more fragile than they are. AHH! With the basic rig above, the usual freshwater fish from the pet store will be tough enough, even if you fuck and forget to feed 'em for a week. Don’t overthink this. Big tank, if ya can, thick bottom layer, let it sit and circulate, you’ll be good to start.
Happy you got me talking about this. My wife just “demanded” I ditch my busted mini-fridge and put a fish tank in. And I have a 10G GTG! (Well, it needs some cleaning…)
Awesome advice! We have several aquariums and your advice to a beginner is spot on. Well done, you win 5 internets!
Seriosuly, great reply.
I appreciate that. I was kinda drunk and bored last night so I hammered on this quite awhile. I might do it over and make a top-level post one day. SO much I left out, but I had to draw the line on overwhelming OP.