#Choose where to read—it’s free.) https://lnk.bio/23off_Sugar

I spent 130+ hours on this chapter.

Unlike the previous parts, this one has a lot of conversational scenes, and I’d really like to know how naturally they come across.

Or do they feel cringey?))

Anyway, don’t hesitate to point out anything that feels off.

I’d also really appreciate your thoughts on the visuals. Some backgrounds are missing, but unfortunately, that’s an extreme measure I’ve had to take to save time.

  • Edges@lemmy.zipEnglish
    2·
    10 days ago

    Nice art, I’ll read the other two

    “3st Chapter” on the first page should be “3rd Chapter”

    • 23off_Sugar@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      2·
      9 days ago

      Thanks for pointing that out!)) Yes, that’s a typo; the previous text template had “2 st” I forgot to put it away … . 😩

      • Edges@lemmy.zipEnglish
        1·
        9 days ago

        It happens, just in case it comes up it would actually be 2nd, not 2st.