After taking rule for the first time... [CW: slightly offensive, CW: depiction of "incels"]

NSFW

lemmy.blahaj.zone

After taking rule for the first time... [CW: slightly offensive, CW: depiction of "incels"]

NSFW

lemmy.blahaj.zone

ShadowOfMiisha (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone to

196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish · 5 days ago

Oh my god 😭
I can’t say I was ever short, but this is kinda totally my case…

very TMI, Miisha loredump

I used to think I was into girls…sorta. From 12 until like 15 years old, I honestly believed that. Not that I was attracted to them, but rather I envied them (I know that now, lol). Still, I felt like liking girls was the “correct” thing to do. My mom sure wanted me to get a gf. Every single guy around me was talking about their attraction to girls. And I just thought I had to…

I asked a couple of them out. Or, I tried to. It never really worked. I think they kinda hated me, cause I was a textbook nerdy incel, lol. Never wore glasses tho…
It was so bad that I was only friends with like one or two girls. And I can’t blame them, I was fucking awful at the time…

But then, when I was about 15 years old, I started purposefully building a yaoi collection in my free time. It’s a massive folder now, even tho I no longer use it. It was summer and me and my best friend at the time decided to play truth or dare. Playing a cheap CSGO clone on our phones, we decided the winner tops the loser. And well…I lost completely on purpose.

And that was my first time, ever. With a guy, nonetheless. At 15, with my “best friend”. It wasn’t special, there was no fanfare, it was just a stupid dare we thought would be funny. Today, I know the guy is a bigoted, hateful asshole who’s dating a TERF and they both hate my guts for being trans, but it was…an experience.

And after that, I completely gave up on forcing myself to like girls. I finally admitted to myself that I like men and men only. I started being much more comfortable in their presence, I started noticing them more and I started…fantisizing…about them, about sleeping with them.

And ofc, years later I met my lovely boyfriend and I started HRT, meaning the progesterone makes me want nothing more than to be pinned down and take men’s cocks, over and over and over again until I can’t walk straight 😂

But yeah…I still remember my first time. And I just wish it could’ve been on HRT already, so that it would have been more special. And I also kinda wish it would’ve been with a person that doesn’t hate my existence :P

Chat

ShadowOfMiisha (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
link
fedilink
English
arrow-up
2·
4 days ago
I’m glad you’re here, girl. All of us. Even tho it doesn’t seem that way, we’ve all made it so far. It’s amazing 💜

I think keeping it as an open possibility is a good idea. It’s your choice, in any case!

Best of luck, lovely person who isn’t Jessica ❤️

196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

onehundredninetysix@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Create a post

You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !onehundredninetysix@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very “off topic”.

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren’t unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
Don’t rush mod actions. If a case doesn’t need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

Visibility: Public

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

2.63K users / day
5.32K users / week
5.44K users / month
5.46K users / 6 months
2 local subscribers
7.22K subscribers
621 Posts
4.58K Comments
Modlog