I feel bad for all the bi dudes who feel the need to hide it from partners
Anything but coverage on what’s going on in Gaza, Sudan, or Congo
Very telling and insulting that this pointless bullshit is what they choose to publish, out of all things
A lot of confused people in this thread wondering why they should care.
The intention is to keep eating away at the rights of anyone not straight, male, white, and Christian. All the major papers are on board with anti-trans genocide. They have been successful enough to broaden their attacks. This is the “just asking questions” phase.
Is this going down before or after the lizard people of Proxima Centuri B invade?
I’m not sure what “rights” you think gay/trans don’t have that everyone else does. Unless your crying about people not calling you proper pronouns or something. Which that isn’t a right. You seem like someone that hates yourself to the point of everyone else is always the problem. Get help.
Using a fucking toilet without harassment. Even cis women get harassment over it now if they look like they they could be male.
So? He’s made a commitment to be with you alone. If he’s a decent man, then there’s nothing to worry about. It’s not like straight men have never cheated on their partners.
Although the fact that this subject never was broached prior to you getting hitched is somewhat concerning.
If the marriage is sexually exclusive, why would you care? If the marriage was open, why would you care? If you’re worried about infidelity, then what gender they might choose still seems like a trivial issue.
You shouldn’t care, but most straight women do. Straight women are uniquely prejudiced against bisexual men.
I for one want to know what the hell is going on in the heads of the handful of bisexual women that wouldn’t date another bisexual woman. 🤣
I’m confused by the 15% of bi men who wouldn’t date a bi man. Like 3% is within stupid people levels, but 15% is a bit much
I like how they kept columns for gay people dating hetero and vice versa, but then just left them blank.
Maybe 1/3 of straight women, 2/3 of bi women, and most gay & bi men is enough of a dating pool, though? I’m sure not near 1/3 of straight and bi guys would be into me personally.
And I can believe the 2/3 thing. I land in the 1/3 and it feels like a minority view.
Probably got confused by the question with a number that low.
because its click-bait
Sexuality seems like a thing to have discussed before you arrange a marriage.
Its different if someone has not realized or accepted their queerness and comes out years later. But right after the honeymoon feels nasty. Its the kind of move a manipulator uses, omit telling information that could cause others to make different choices then those that align.
I’d wonder what other secrets there are.
There’s a stigma around bisexuals, that they are promiscuous. I did not tell my ex that I was bi at all, because she and I were exclusive the whole time we were together. It was years after our divorce that I came out as trans.
I was so worried that she would have rejected me if she knew that about me. I was happy with our life we had together, and I never strayed, so why should I have to disclose that if I don’t want to?
Edit: Insulting me, and reducing my relationship to this clinical definition of absolutely acceptable or selfish deceit can go to /dev/null. At this point I’m just going to block the users of such responses.
Thanks to those who shit all over me 🙄🤷🏻♀️
Why tell your partner anything you don’t want to if it’s inconvenient for you. Many would agree that is the foundation for a healthy relationship!
All jokes aside I actually don’t see the issue if the relationship is so shallow that you both agree that secrets are on the table I suppose.
Not everything fits into nice neat boxes. My failed marriage was not shallow because I withheld information that meant nothing to me. I never so much as looked at another person in a way that would not pass the sniff test, because I loved the mother of our son with everything I had.
I was happy being the “family man”, even though I felt how I did inside; having what I had was more than enough for me. ~23ish years old with a wife, a son, a house, and a car—perfection.
It’s hard to say that when a friend outed me to her, if her reaction was informed by the animosity of the height of a messy divorce, or whether it really hit a nerve. We were young, and were not equipped to deal with the major changes that were occurring in rapid realtime.
What have you to say about this? You pass judgment on a multi-year multi-dimensional partnership, and I say shame on you.
In the future, I’d recommend keeping your insulting comments to yourself.
🙄
I say that regardless of if you believe something you are doing is right or wrong that withholding it from someone while knowing it could end your relationship is in any sain situation a selfish act.
Also I would say that people make mistakes and it if that is something you regret then it’s okay to forgive yourself and move on
My read on the situation based on what you typed is that you don’t see any harm in withholding something that you apparently believed would matter to the other person. I’m not caught up on if being bi or trans or whatever is actually wrong somehow in itself if that is how I’m coming across
If the person you’re dating is going to reject your authentic self they’re not the right person for you anyway, you just wasted both of your time on a relationship where your partner was kept in the dark because you were too scared to be vulnerable, gives me the ick
You have no idea of whether I wasted my or her time. Some of the best years of both of our lives, without a doubt. Take your judgment elsewhere, friend.
I was happy with our life we had together
they’re not the right person for you anyway, you just wasted both of your time
What exactly is “the right person for you”? If they had a happy life while they were together then why should it matter that they’re not the perfect match? Sometimes one needs to go through relationships that help them grow into the person that their “perfect match” (whatever that is) would consider to be their perfect match.
If your partner not being 100% hetero is a dealbreaker for someone they should maybe ask about it before marriage? Although in this case it wouldn’t have helped, since the sender says her husband says he didn’t know until then (while calling him a liar). Sometimes people don’t understand their sexuality until later in life, I dunno what to tell you.
If its a dealbreaker then it feels like a red flag. Do you want to spend your life with a person that doesnt accept you fully as you are?
Youre also supposed to kinds have figured out yourself by the time of marriage. Ofc people can be stuck in the closet for years but just after the honeymoon?
I guess its possible but what events even aspired to suddenly be so sure?
Slightly related i have a theory that all mammals are biosexual by nature with a common hetero preference on top. Its well studied in animals, there are also infinite tales of life with gender separation (monks, soldiers, prison). For many hetero, its not gay if there are no women available.
Ofc people can be stuck in the closet for years but just after the honeymoon?
Maybe the honeymoon sex pushed him over the edge of realization about how he would like to have a man involved too.
I don’t understand what difference there is for the wife, someone please explain to me why she(or anyone!) would care about her husband being bisexual vs hetero.
The fact itself shouldn’t.
Not being open about yourself till just after marriage is what’s bothering.
Granted marriage culture has changed alot but surely the idea is still to unite with someone for hopefully the rest of their life.
If one has reservations and arent comfortable to be open about things that is valid but then work on that before devoting yourself to another.
You make it sound easy, it’s often something you are not able to understand easly you cannot just “work on that before devoting yourself” if you do not know about you being that in principle. Also, talking about is often harder than it seems (especially because bisexuals are also very judged in the LGBT community itself), i have some bisexual friends and, oh man how many times i heard them not being sure anymore if they were actually bisexual or not, some even thought they were pretending (they were not)
It’s not about being bisexual it’s about being afraid of being vulnerable with the person you’re trying to spend the rest of your life with. If you can’t be fully open and honest with them out of fear you’re not ready to be married, a life long commitment, at least not to that person who scares you. They might reject you? Then they’re not a good match anyway, give them the opportunity to make an informed decision. Don’t have it figured out? Ok, considering it’s not about being bisexual that’s not an issue they should still know you’re at a stage in your life where you don’t have that figured out yet. I think denying a potential life partner any significant information about yourself is not ok, it shows a fear of intimacy and vulnerability and it robs them of the opportunity to make an informed decision, none of those things are good for a life long partner to be dealing with.
Of course, it’s not easy, but so is marriage.
i have a theory that actually bisexuality is the default for mammals and heterosexual relationships a common general preference. I get its confusing for some but what depends is how they personaly perceive their own attractions.
If they weren’t sure and over many years they started to question their own sexuality its a different story but thats not this one.
What changed in a honeymoons worth of time to go from “not questioning their sexuality” to “perceiving themselves as bisexual”
Let me put it this way, if my partner felt uncomfortable telling me something they struggle with. Than i would perceive that as a personal failure. Because trusting eachother to tackle life together is the whole point of the ceremony.
I don’t really understand what the difference there would be a spouse, if their other half is het or bi. What should matter is that they chose you
Pretty much the stance I had with an ex-girlfriend who was bi. I didn’t care who she slept with before me or who she slept with after me, so long as she wasn’t sleeping with someone else while we were together.
It does hurt the odds though, double the chances to cheat.
2 x 0 = 0
This is the sort of shit I hear from fellow gays about bi people all the time. We call it biphobia.
If the only reason you don’t cheat is because of the lack of opportunities… Then you’re not just a bad person, but you’re probably ugly as fuck as well.
Do you think such people don’t exist?
Cheaters exist, it has nothing to do with their sexuality.
I reckon aro/ace don’t cheat as much. But if you are attracted to more people then you get more chances. You could say the same of someone with low standards. It’s not a moral judgement.
Please rethink the math here. Consider actual human population.
Could you explain it please?
Imagine a group of 10 people. 5 men, 5 women. There’s one bisexual guy who’s in a relationship with a woman. Realistically, how many people can he cheat with?
One is plenty, I don’t think many people use most of their free time in cheating, it’s more opportunistic.
I don’t think many people Mac or their free time in creating, it’s more opportunistic.
I wanted to ask if you really think hordes of heterosexual dudes are eager to fuck a bisexual man, but now I see this would be like trying to squeeze water from a stone.
You can squeeze water from my stones any time
If one is plenty, it says more about the person regardless of their sexuality than it does of any sexuality itself
I mean that once you cheat with one person that counts as cheating, and is probably the likely outcome (apart from not cheating at all), unless you’re super efficient and can get round to lots of people or they all work on different oil rigs or something.
“Hey I’m still attracted to you but I also find dudes hot.”
“I MUST INFORM THE WASHINGTON POST!”
STOP THE PRESSES!!
(Sorry, I’ve just always wanted to say that)
Can you just tell WaPo things?
that’s…kinda how newspapers work? if they’re interesting or important enough they publish it as news.
And the Washington Post has had multiple advice columnists for decades. It’s just a typical division of different sections: national news, national politics, local news, local politics, sports, business, lifestyle, food, arts and culture, advice, editorials/opinion, comics, obituaries.
They did shut down a lot of those sections, including what used to be a really good sports section, but that’s because they’re in a death spiral. If the advice columns still get clicks they’ll still keep running them. And if that means they have to run advice to clickbait problems, that’s probably what they’ll do.
Classic Washington Post!
Why would that matter? If he’s exclusively committed to you then what’s the issue?
Imho, the bisexuality wouldn’t be the issue. The fact that one partner was not aware of the sexual orientation of the married, on paper lifelong partner, is. Bisexuality, in contrast to pansexuality, has a focus on the, well … sex of the partner. The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.
Lack of communication being a problem - sure. But you’re conflating a few things.
- In modern terms, bisexuality and pansexuality are interchangeable, the terms have evolved over the years and most of the community rejects the old distinction.
- “The bisexual duality cannot be satisfied by the binarity of one partner” is the stupidest thing ive ever heard. They are bi, meaning their attraction applies to both (or more) genders. They aren’t in heat with an unquenchable lust for sex with multiple genders. Someone can have a preference for brunettes and redheads and marry a redhead and not be “unsatisfied”. The problem with closeted gay people marrying into a straight relationship is that they are denying their own sexuality, and lying to themselves. Bisexual people are not lying to themselves. They are attracted to their spouse. There is no confusion.
Seriously. I’m bi. Like, objectively undeniably bi. I’ve had cis partners of both sexes. I’ve had long-term relationships with both. I’m not one of those people that’s bi on paper but has only ever dated one sex or gender.
And yet, I’m happily married to my husband. We’re in a fully monogamous, exclusive, committed relationship. Been married for eight years. I said “til death do us part,” and I meant it! Still do.
Being bi just means you’re attracted to more than one sex or gender. The idea that I would ever tell my partner something like, “well you see, there are just some physical needs that you as a man are incapable of meeting…” is just a porn fantasy. I don’t have some irresistible need to be with both men and women. I just find some people attractive regardless of gender.
The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.
This is an extremely common and extremely silly take. Bi folk aren’t any more or less “satisfied” in a relationship than mono folk are. People (bi or otherwise) betray their partnership commitments all the time, but for whatever reason bisexuality seems to get conflated with infidelity / general profligacy. It’s an ugly and inaccurate stereotype.
Some reason? Come on, not that complicated if you put yourself in a normal person head.
Societally normalized biphobia?
First off people aren’t scared of the bi part just the homo one. Secondly, the stereotyping that BI people are dogs in heat come from both the gay community and the straight community. You still haven’t put a theory forward for the why just the what.
normal person
Sure, I can do that. quick question, by “normal” do you mean someone who has median characteristics across the board, or are you one of those people who define normal by their own tastes and experiences?
Well you clearly know what I meant so you aren’t stupid, so maybe willfully ignorant?
I am neither, and I also don’t know what you meant, which is my point. Sometimes I ask pointed questions to demonstrate a flaw in the framing of a proposition. In this case, it’s that there’s no such thing as an objectively “normal person”, that phrase is meaningless outside of a particular frame of reference, and I can’t put myself in the mind of a “normal person” without knowing what the frame of reference is. Which would imply that maybe it’s a more complicated situation than you seem to think.
No, you’re just disingenuously complicating it. You made my point for me but then instantly walked it back. Again, proving you’re probably the latter.
If you don’t have an actual point to make, why are you even speaking up?
It’s just am excerise in putting yourself in others shoes, why don’t you take your own advice?
What is, making wildly inaccurate, but harmful statements with nothing to back it up and refusing to clarify?
What a wonderful way to practice empathy /s
Ofc you don’t know how to put yourself in others shoes and it shows.
Way to out yourself as low value
Same you just proved its about equity not equality.
You mean like the sexuality of straight people can not be satisfied because there are other hotter people of the same sex as their spouse?
Huh? I’m bi and have been happily married for 30 years
Obviously the husband made a mistake, you tell them in the dating phase so the trash takes itself out instead of tricking you into believing it’s a real person.
And that makes her no-sexual or what?
Yes. You are only allowed so many sexuals in a relationship.
Don’t look into pan sexual relationships, they are essentially just playing “Hungry hungry hippos” with two marbles.
You’re all assuming that she’s angry about it.
The ‘TLC’ of journalism
Isn’t it crazy how far they fell? They’re in with Page 6 and Brightbart (or whatever it is).
Threesome?
foursome
Get to the back of the queue!
Divorce your gym, hit your lawyer, and delete your Facebook because billionaires suck.
Why would anyone delete their gym?
They did catch on to this and made it illegal to hit lawyers
The law is often slow to adapt in this new meme based future.
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!!!
