Been about 15 years since I read it but that’s what I recall. Thinking the opposite of what you originally think and being able to delude yourself into believing both are true. Like brainwashing yourself into being a better liar so you don’t get your cheeks clapped for thought crime.

Ripe Asian Melons

A buddy of mine had a yellow lab that would run away if you let him sniff your beer

That was exactly what I was thinking. I read through it and said out loud “what the fuck is the question??”. It seems like the ramblings of someone who doesn’t understand relativity or currency exchange.

That was a brainfart typo, my bad, I’m wasted at 5 am reading about octopus dicks

All I want to know is am I eating raw squid dick when I order tako nigiri

Hold on. One of their arms is a dick???

Man, I really do miss that slick feel of sliding a floppy disk in the drive. Or playing with the little moving piece on top that protects the disk until the spring breaks and then you have to manually tape and untape the window everytime you use it.

Double Think

Right after they finish building the Epstein-Maxwell Institute For Troubled Children

I wanna see ceremonial weigh-ins and face-offs like a UFC fight for all future political debates

In france they call it it App Le Tap

We all drink piss and eat stuff grown in literal shit when you really break things down

It really depends where the food is from. Lithium isn’t used to amend soil in large amounts as far as I know so it would mostly be from natural sources (there are studies about lithium battery dumps releasing lithium into the soil and water too). You could have a potato with undetectable amounts of lithium or a potato that was grown near a lithium mine and watered with the river water contaminated by the mine as well, maybe a battery dump close by too, you would have high amounts.