In my lived experiences pure negative feedback is equally traumatizing as intermittent verbal beratement.

I am sexually attracted to individuals who fit a set of certain phenotypes but in persuing sexual relationships with these people I got nothing but negative feedback. I’m not going into specifics bc that doesn’t matter here. The point is that now physical attraction doesn’t matter to me and am yes finally having sex…

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t feel bad when people hate you for solving a problem they wanted. Of course they’d hate you for not letting them say whatever they want to you whenever, you’re literally not letting them do something, you’re like taking something, emotionally. Granted they shouldn’t want to do that in the first place which is how we solve the problem.

If I don’t want to be the kind of person who limits everyone who talks to me to texts then I’ll remove people who necessitate that from me. I don’t need to speak if I can’t speak safely, just like I don’t need to drive if I’ve had a few beers. Sharing information about me isn’t the important thing, what’s most important is that I feel supported in the way I need and that means I don’t talk to anyone or everyone.

For those who live a life where they can’t remove the problems my advice is to take a more information theory approach, you can speak lots of words while conveying no meaning, it’s a skill. It involves developing a deep and intimate comprehension of the midwits comprehension of the entropy of nature language. Some people are just smart enough to realize that words are arbitrary sounds and if they consistently mean the same thing when they say the same word they can redefine it as they wish, biggest victim of this is “think”, “think” can mean billions of things there’s no reliable way to know so don’t know, don’t care that do “think”, do “think” yourself.

Consistently mean what you mean.

Take things from people that they don’t need like: bad behaviors and hierarchy and traditions and history and systems. Trillions of people have lived long and healthy lives without many of the things we have today and a lot of those things aren’t needed take them.

Govern the information that you emit on an informational level; instead of answering “why are you wearing that” with an explanation just say “it is already on me” and if that lack of information causes a fight let it. You only selected the amount of information you emitted you have no control or the reaction (having control would imply that there is a min amount of info you should emit which there just isn’t source am a person)

And in doing these things I have found my life improving. Idk about you but I hope you do too.

Sometimes* a hookup is just a hookup

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It’s 2026, lear your damn lesson