Feelings I had for my classmate were obviously one-sided (pretty sure of it), so I made a reasonable decision to never confess to not make things awkward. In a few years since we graduated I finally moved on, although I never loved anyone this much since.
Yet all this time I had a desire to tell her about them. I would definitely want to know if someone loved me this much ever. Would she? I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is in a relationship right now or not.
I would really want to cite some scientific study that “Over 80% of girls have their self-confidence lifted after being told they were secretly admired (p<0.05)”, but can’t find one.
Not a good idea imo. I’ve never heard of any girl/woman reacting positively to such situation. I myself and many of my female friends experienced it before - even if we managed to be polite and just laugh it off, privately we agreed it was uncomfortable, sad and rather pathetic, some of us plainly admitted it’s creepy, gives off stalker vibes.
Out of curiosity I read OP’s post out to my gf and she wondered if he was an incel. LMAO
I’m not saying he is one or anything, but yeah, there is no way this is a good thing for OP to try and do.
No.
Dude, let’s be real here. She doesn’t share the same feelings for you, and never did.
She won’t think this is cute. She won’t think this is romantic. She won’t see you in a better light. Move on. Doing stuff like this, are the cringe things that annoy women.
Just move on. This isn’t high school, so why do you wanna continue being the awkward high school guy? She’s not you’re freakin soulmate. lol
Focus on finding the right person for you and stop tripping over stuff that’s in your rearview mirror.
And for the love of everything holy and unholy, stop doing awkward shit like this! Your post is cringe enough, but hey, at least you are thinking before you do it. But your posts, are making me think you haven’t changed at all.
I read your post out to my gf just now, and she rolled her eyes and said, “Oh god, one of those guys. Is he an incel?” Then laughed.
I’m not saying you are, but most people are gonna have the same reaction. OP, you are way too old to be acting like an awkward teen. Stop.
And for the love of everything holy and unholy, stop doing awkward shit like this! Your post is cringe enough, but hey, at least you are thinking before you do it. But your posts, are making me think you haven’t changed at all.
You mean comments?
Changed compared to what anchor point?
I read your post out to my gf just now, and she rolled her eyes and said, “Oh god, one of those guys. Is he an incel?” Then laughed.
May I ask what exact part of my post lead to her suspecting I was one (apparently in modern definition)?
You mean comments?
Yes, I meant your replies in this thread. I have no idea what your post history is and no desire or reason to look it up.
May I ask what exact part of my post lead to her suspecting I was one
Just the way you are replying to everything and being overly analytical on everything. You seem to be trying to attack this problem like a programmer who is programming something. Dude, real life ain’t like that.
I’m sure you already know some of the issues with your personality when it comes to things like this. And I’m sure you have noticed how many of your replies have been downvoted.
You are totally free to do what you want. But many here are giving you good advice based on their more rounded life experience. Yeah, you can go and say it all assumptions, we’re wrong, we don’t get you, we don’t know you, etc.
How much dating experience do you have? I have dated a lot, and I am not a great looking guy. So I have had to depend on my personality to date. And the way your personality comes across in this thread, isn’t one I have ever seen be overly successful when it comes to relationships or social interaction.
But you are right about the fact that we don’t REALLY know you. So let ur freak flag fly and do what you want. You asked for advice, but there is no law that says you have to follow it! :)
Yes, I meant your replies in this thread. I have no idea what your post history is and no desire or reason to look it up.
I assume you have already looked it up after writing that; I would have a temptation. I want to clarify that the post about solar inclination-based geolocation where you were also present was a part of a separate thought process going on for a few days and it being posted close in time was just a coincidence.
Just the way you are replying to everything and being overly analytical on everything. You seem to be trying to attack this problem like a programmer who is programming something. Dude, real life ain’t like that.
I thought “incels” (in modern degradatory definition) were supposed to be emotional guys who hate women because they don’t have feelings they want. Not people who approach dating rationally and try to estimate each other’s feelings using best scientific methods available. Never heard Sheldon Cooper, or Data from TNG being called this way.
BTW, I think you said you read just the post to her before getting this reaction, you never said anything about the comments.
How much dating experience do you have?
None, and I was never accused in being improper in trying to get into one—because I approach the subject rationally. I would never approach anyone in that way until I’m reasonably confident they are interested in me in a sufficient degree. Finding the most compatible person may be a lifetime-long quest, but it pays off at the end.
I assume you have already looked it up after writing that; I would have a temptation.
Not yet. Still no temptation
although I never loved anyone this much since.
Attraction /= love. You did not love her.
Yet all this time I had a desire to tell her about them.
You have a desire to have your attraction to her validated. You are essentially cat calling her but in ultra slow motion.
I would really want to cite some scientific study that “Over 80% of girls have their self-confidence lifted after being told they were secretly admired (p<0.05)”, but can’t find one.
Ya cuz in real life it would be “over 99% of women have experienced mental anguish from being told they were secretly admired.”
Don’t insert yourself into her life, or any woman’s life for that matter, just so you can wag your attraction to her in her face. It’s categorically in the same bucket as unsolicited dick picks. You’re doing it for yourself, not her.
Attraction /= love. You did not love her.
I am pretty much sure my feelings fell under most common definitions of “love”. I wonder what makes you think otherwise.
You have a desire to have your attraction to her validated.
Maybe that is a part of it, but I also want for her to be validated. I, for instance, would be if someone told me this.
Don’t insert yourself into her life, or any woman’s life for that matter, just so you can wag your attraction to her in her face.
From the tone of your post, I feel like you had a pretty bad day. I’m sorry for whatever happened to you, get better soon.
This person’s advice is comprehensive and correct. You need to accept it. What you’re feeling is not love. Love is something that is built up over years of being in a relationship. No relationship, no love. If what you’re feeling is as strong as you claim, then the correct word would be infatuation, or possibly obsession.
You’re going to come off as extremely creepy to her. Let it go.
No relationship, no love. If what you’re feeling is as strong as you claim, then the correct word would be infatuation, or possibly obsession.
Exactly this!
